We are home from the honeymoon. It was an incredible trip. We had such a good time. We spent a week each in Fiji and New Zealand. In Fiji we did a lot of sleeping, drinking, reading, relaxing and swimming. In New Zealand we did a lot of tours of the countryside and sightseeing. Both were fun but I’m really, really glad we did the relaxing week first. I have a million and one pictures and haven’t loaded any up to the site yet.

This weekend has been tough. We got home late late Friday night, after more than 26 straight hours of travel. Saturday was full of errands and takin’ care of business, because Fronzel had to be on a plane unreasonably early Sunday morning to go to Dallas for two weeks. I’ve been kinda ragged from the time change, and a little sick to my stomach from the terrible airplane food. So today I did a few required tasks but mostly laid low. Slept a little more than I should have, spent a lot of time catching up on what I missed on the internets. I also got all my hairs chopped off. Such a relief!

On Saturday, though, we did do one fun thing. We opened our presents and cards from the wedding, which was very touching. We read through the guest book: totally awesome. I can’t believe how terrific it, in conjunction with the Photobooth, came out. I really need to post some of the more amusing pics from it. It was a huge boost to my sagging spirits– no more honeymoon, Fronzel going away– to do that on Saturday. My friends and family are really good to me.

Tomorrow is my first day back at work. I am not looking forward to it. I know it will be a headache-inducing day.

Okay, here’s one good honeymoon pic and one good Photobooth pic.

For about 22 hours now. I am exhausted and ecstatic. The day went off perfectly. It was painfully gorgeous weather, all the elements I had worried about (flowers, food, photobooth, vows, alcohol, I could go on…) were perfect, even better than I ever expected. The pictures from the photobooth are a total riot. I have high hopes for the other pics– we had two photographers and a lot of friends and family taking snaps.

Well, I am off to breakfast and then to Fiji!

So I hurt something in my left foot running yesterday. I did an easy 3 miles. I don’t remember anything in particular during the run that was strange or painful, but the pain made itself known over the course of a long day spent in heels. Its on the top of my foot and I’m almost certain its a pulled or strained muscle.

I decided not to run this morning. I have a nine-miler with my group on Saturday morning. That, for me, is serious mileage and I haven’t tackled a distance like that since about a year ago. I don’t want to be limping halfway through that bad boy. I have done that before. I know about running through an injury but I also know that is risky. I know that keeping up my daily runs is important training to keep me/get me in shape for my Saturday long runs. I am confused about whether resting today (and tomorrow, I try not to run the days before or after a long run) is a good thing or a bad thing. Whether my naughty foot really needed the rest, whether I am cheating myself of endurance that I’ll be praying for on Satruday morning.

Every time I miss a planned run I feel anxious about falling off the Good Girls Exercise Wagon. I am distracted and busy these days and keeping up with my running is important to me.

I’m trying to chill about it. Chill, baby, chill. Oh, and foot? Please shut up with the whining.

26 days until wedded bliss.

Luckily, Fronzel is being sent home from Japan: he’ll be here tomorrow evening. I am very glad because that will remove one worry (him not making it home in time) and give me some slave labor extra help with things. Things like schlepping home cases of beer and wine, composing the vows, choosing music, and so forth.

Also we’ll have family staying with us the week prior to the wedding so I need to give the house a thorough scrub-down. I am a lazy and lackadaisical housekeeper even when I’m not busy. When I am busy… well, its downright shameful. Right now my house is a maze of laundry baskets, boxes full of wedding stuff, bags full of crafty stuff, my bags from Chicago are still packed, Dexter’s bag from his kennel stay is still packed… shameful, I tell ya. Shameful.

Things are getting done again on the wedding front. One of the things that still needs doing: obtaining the marriage license.

I was eating lunch a couple weeks ago with my girlfriends at work. I was listing the things I had yet to do. I said, “Oh yeah, and get a marriage license. I can probably do that next week when I have a half-day off (for another wedding-related appointment).”

One of my girlfriends was like, “Umm. Next week when Fronzel is still in Japan?”

Me: “Yeah, I guess.”

Her: “Ummm. No. That’s not how it really works. They don’t just hand you a piece of paper. You could take that and marry your dog or your brother. You kinda need him to be there.”

I’m having a lot.

I am pretty sure my persistent headache lately (since Thursday without relief) is stress-related. I’m almost positive now because I have a rash on my legs.

I am of course stressed about the wedding. But also about work and some things in my personal life that I am not comfortable blogging publicly about. I wish I were the kind of person who took such things in stride, but I am not. I lie awake at night, trying to sleep, but instead pondering scenarios where everything I fear going wrong, happens. I drive in to work dreading the day. I walk past the security desk, past cubes full of coworkers with whom I am friendly, silently pleading, “Please don’t talk to me, please don’t look at me, please don’t talk to me, please don’t look at me.” It is almost painful for me to have to talk to and interact with other people on these days. I want desperately to find any excuse to run home and stay there. (Instead I get to fly to Chicago tonight and deal with a bunch of strangers for four days.)

Sometimes I go home at night and cry. Sometimes I spend the whole weeked completely silently– no phone calls, no plans with friends, avoiding even the grocery store so I don’t have to interact with people. Usually this helps me immensely to gear up for another week. Lately it has not been possible.

It is not this bad all the time, only when it feels like too many things all at once are piling up. For the most part, I get through it, but sometimes I’m not sure I can cope. And then the headaches and the rashes– I wonder if I think I am coping but really not doing it as well as I thought.

I don’t want Fronzel to think I am a wreck or mentally ill. The way I see it, so long as I am able to go about my business and do the things I have to do– go to work, accomplish tasks and chores outside of work, refrain from having a nervous breakdown– I am doing fine. I am handling it. Its just stress. Who doesn’t have that? 95% of the country probably has a more stressful life than I do.

I dislike Valentine’s Day and always have.

When I was young, I didn’t care for the forced sentiment. I hated those stupid decorated shoeboxes (well, the decorating was fun) with the cheapass tear-apart valentines dropped into them through the slot in the top. I only got them from the kids whose parents made them write one for every kid in the class. And sometimes they weren’t even individualized– just a blank envelope, and inside, the glossy cartoon card with the kid’s name scribbled at the bottom. Not even trying to pretend like the card was anything but the empty, required gesture.

And then there was the inevitable comparison. It started in grade school and just got worse every year. Grade school: who got the most valentines. High school: whose boyfriend gave her a single rose (or something even better). College: whose boyfriend spent scads of money on an overpriced dinner out, plus roses.

In college I began to notice the appalling advertising that was flung at consumers beginning shortly after New Year’s. Ads that subtly– and it seems lately, not-so-subtly– convey the message that men buy women’s affection (and sexual favors) with expensive things: red roses, fancy pajamas, shiny ugly jewelry.

I saw one commercial a couple weeks ago in which a man was trying to decide what to do for Valentine’s Day. He imagined himself trying to do something intimate and personal– paint his wife’s toenails. She looks down from her magazine and says something like “I think it needs another coat,” and we return to reality, and the dude is oviously thinking, “CLEARLY I can’t do something thoughtful or genuine, that would be wicked gay,” so instead he buys her some overpriced jewelry.

Barf.

That’s the part I hate about Valentine’s Day. Its not supposed to be about a real expression of love or affection, just some show-offy, consumerist crap. Because of course that’s the only thing women want, and the only thing men are capable of giving. What a load.

Luckily, my fiancee is nothing but relieved that I feel that way. He is very good at sending me flowers with personal, touching notes every now and then– randomly, when I least expect it– and of giving me thoughtful gifts all the time, not just when our crappy consumer culture directs him to. Also, the anniversary of our first date is March 3rd, which I think is a much better time to celebrate our love for each other. And soon, we’ll have a wedding anniversary in that month as well! March will be our month of romance, not crappy, short, overpriced, ad-drenched February.

Fronzel left this morning for Japan. I don’t know how long he’ll be gone but he better be back by March 21st. Or, as I’ve been promising/threatening, I’m marrying the hottest cater-waiter there.

Yesterday he bought a little iPod boombox thing to use at the reception. I was skeptical since its pretty small (compared to our TV speakers, which are nearly as tall as I am). But, its pretty loud. I think it will do just fine.

The Photobooth is done with the exception of the curtain, which is my job. I will do some shopping this weekend and some sewing next week. Also I bought the components to make an arbor to use during the ceremony. I need to get some frou-frou stuff to frou-frou it up this weekend also.

I am pretty busy these days with all the details. I know it will all come together. I know that I am expending energy worrying. There’s just so much to deal with.

Ha, I hope the third time’s a charm because we’ve changed our minds for the third time on the rehearsal dinner. Now a friend is hosting it and we are going to choose a restaurant to cater. I am leaning towards Brio for reasons that any of you poor, long-suffering folk who read the previous 87 entries on the rehearsal dinner drama already know. We’re not changing our minds again. Seriously. Not.

I am frustrated because I have been watching what I eat– and I know how to do that– and running all the time, and haven’t lost an ounce. I’m trying not to freak out about that because (a) my wedding dress fits like a dream and would I really wish for the thing to look terrible on the day? and (b) if I start obsessing about my weight I will probably have a nervous breakdown.

I am going to Chicago next week for a training, Tuesday through Friday. Then I get to come home and basically repeat that training in my own office. Its a “train the trainer” training that I’m going to. Its going to be mind-numbingly boring, and, I really don’t want to. I really don’t have time. I won’t have time to organize a training here when I get back and still get all my regular work done too. It makes me want to quit my job and eat gubmint cheez just thinking about it.

Upside: Chicago-style deep dish pizza.

I have had a very unusual string of headaches lately. Every day for the last week and a half, at the same time very afternoon (about 2:00 to 3:00 p.m.). And I’ve changed nothing significant: I’m still getting my regular cup o’ joe in the morning, still running, still sleeping, still drinking plenty of water. It isn’t an incapacitating kind of headache; a BC headache powder usually alleviates it. But then today at lunch my left arm went kinda numb and tingly for no reason and is still tingly an hour later. I’m probably going to die of a brain tumor.

So after my surgery last August 22nd, I was forced to take a two-month hiatus from running. So September and October, I was lazy. Somehow November sped by without me noticing, and then in December I ran a couple times, but I was frustrated by my lost fitness and the daunting task of building back up.

I have already posted about my awesome Santa and his running-specific gift, my iPod and Nike + Sport Kit. Since I am such a kid (ooh, shiny!), it was enough to get me back out there running, literally, the day after Christmas.

Somehow January wasn’t as painful as I anticipated, even with unusually frigid temperatures and extremely unusual winter weather. I laid down 38 miles in January, and signed up again for another season running with Galloway. I dragged my butt out of bed when my bed was super warm, and my kitties were asleep and purring, and it wasn’t even light out yet.

And magically, it worked! This week I have just been laying down nothing but quality miles. I have been running faster, longer, powering up hills, and in general just feeling awesome during and after my runs. I am, all of a sudden, back in shape. Probably not back to the best shape I’ve ever been in– but getting there. Monday I banged out four miles before work like it was nothing. It amazes me that two years ago it was my goal to just be able to run three miles without dying. And now my short daily runs are four miles. This morning I ran 3.15 miles in my neighborhood, beating my first 5k time all the way back in March 2006 (the Atlanta Women’s 5k with my friend Amanda– an annual tradition– which I will, sadly, be missing this year due to my wedding).

My goal for February– and I’m running with a half-marathon training group so my long Saturday runs start to actually get what could rightfully be considered “long” this month– is to accumulate 60 miles. Shouldn’t be difficult.

Hahaha, those three options I was bellyaching about a couple days ago? All discarded.

However, we have Officially Made the Decision: Mellow Mushroom Pizza

Mellow is:
* Funner
* Laid-backier
* Uber-closer (blocks, not miles!)
* Cheaper
* Really yummy

I think our peeps will be down. Fronzel thinks I can still use the Spaghetti Kiss since pizza is Italian. I don’t want to mislead everyone into thinking they serve pasta though.

I can’t help myself. I am trying not to bore the interweb tubes with my wedding nonsense, but my god. Its 53 days away. It is occupying an unhealthy portion of my daily thoughts.

Decision time!

I have three choices for the rehearsal dinner:

1. Brio
2. Eclipse di Luna
3. Violette

That is my approximate current order of preference. Here are the considerations for each.

1. Brio
Pros
a. We had our first date at this restaurant. (AWWWW!!!)
b. I think the food is excellent.
c. I think the old & hungry people will appreciate the generous meal– a traditional multi-course thing with yummy desserts.
d. They have quiet, private rooms that are elegant and will make table conversation easy.
e. I can use this to design my own invitations for the rehearsal dinner and for some retarded reason I’m incredibly excited about being able to do that. I am a huge nerd.

Cons
f. Most expensive option of the three, but they are all pretty similar in price.
g. Its pretty traditional, and its a chain restaurant.
h. We would actually be having the dinner at the Brio five-and-change miles from the hotel, not the one where we had our actual first date, which is almost twice as far.

2. Eclipse di Luna
Pros
i. We love the food there.
j. Since its tapas-style, we could order 10 items for the table plus 2 desserts which is a nice variety.
k. Its all-you-can-eat, which should satisfy the hungry people.
l. Its a fun and unique place– not a chain– that would be a little funky, a little more our style.
m. Its in the middle of the three options in terms of price.

Cons
n. No Spaghetti Kiss.
o. Even though we’d get a private room, its a loud place on a Friday night. The bar will be bumpin’, there will be live music, and it won’t really be conducive to conversation.
p. Some of the old & hungry people might not “get” the tapas thing. They might be all, “WHERE’S THE BEEF?!” * I know Fronzel and I both love this place, love this option, and if we were having any ol’ party, we’d love to have it here. In fact, way back when I was considering a smaller wedding, with a smaller reception and a less traditional arrangement (e.g. maybe a courthouse ceremony), I looked at Eclipse di Luna for the wedding reception. But we have to consider that this isn’t just for us– there are other people’s preferences to consider.
q. Like Brio, its five-and-change miles from the hotel.

Violette
Pros
r. Cheapest of the three options.
s. Closest of the three options.
t. Its an elegant, quiet place with a nice, windowed side-patio we would likely get for the dinner, and its unique (not a chain).
u. Like Brio, the menu would be a more traditional multi-course meal (unlike Eclipse di Luna).

Cons
v. No Spaghetti Kiss!
x. I love Brio & Eclipse di Luna. I only like Violette “okay.” I don’t feel strongly about it.
y. My picky sis, who I love in spite of being so, hates French food. There are no vegetarian options for main courses– I’m guessing she’d get something kinda sad and lackluster as a vegetarian plate if I specially requested one.

I can’t believe I don’t have a z. How about:

z. Crawl under a rock and forget I have to also do this thing.

* Props to Nanders for this quote. And also for suggesting options 1 and 3 above.